Life Recovery

Today was an interesting day.  Sometimes at work, I get prideful and self-assured.  Today, God was teaching me humility.  However, instead of being frustrated or embarrassed or whatever, I thanked Him for making me humble.  Thankfully, His lesson only lasted through the morning.  I had asked Him to reveal my shortcomings, I already knew what they were, but as I've said before, there are times that He has to hit me over the head to get my attention.

I am so thankful He hears me.  Even when I don't want Him to. 

This is the first time I have been a part of a book club.  As I have mentioned before, we are reading "Blue like Jazz".  There are so many "ah ha"  moments in this book.  It is so nice to know that I am not alone in doing what I do not want to do and what I want to do, I do not do.  

In one of the chapters titled, "Confession", he talks about how he and his friends set up a confession booth in the middle of this weekend long college campus party.  However, there is an interesting twist, those that come to the booth are not the ones to confess.  The author and his friends confess to the visitor and tells them they are sorry for the way they, as Christians, and all other Christians have treated the visitor in the past.  The author says in this book, that he didn't want to do this, then when they did, they made him be the first one.  He so did not want to go in the booth, but he did.  Once in there and people started coming in, a change came over him.  The more he apologized and shared about Jesus, the more grace he received.  Everyone that came in left hugging the author and his friends.  From there, the author and his friends started doing bible studies around campus.  Amazing how God works in our lives.

Our group talked about this.  One of the major events at the end of summer here in Northern Nevada is Burning Man.  We thought it would be interesting to set up a Confessional Booth there, since it would be pretty much the same environment as the school the author was writing about.  There were a few in our group that would do it in a heartbeat.  Others were more cautious.  But this is what Jesus called us to do.  Go out among the people and as our Senior Pastor says, "Be Jesus with skin on."  We just have to let Jesus take over and not be fearful.  Sounds so simple, however, not so easy.

In my distant memories, I remember being afraid of God.  Feeling guilty because I was already a sinner even though I was a child.  Feeling shame and being unworthy of Him.  Being told to confess to Him, so every week, like all little children, we went to confession and said we did this or that, even if we didn't. 

There is a line in the movie "Dogma" that I feel hits the nail on the head.  Yeah, I know, I am admitting to watching Dogma, however, this line is pretty good.  It talks about how one mourns their faith and that's why the character doesn't believe anymore.

What a statement.  If you think about it, yes, I was taught to mourn my faith.  To constantly feel shame and guilt over my sins.  But that isn't what God wants for us.  He does want us to repent and He does hate sin.  However, He sent us a Saviour, Jesus, to pay the price for all our sins.  No matter what we have done in our lives if we repent and accept Christ into our hearts, all is forgiven, all is forgotten.  As I write this, I hear, "What can wash away our sins?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus." 

I would think one would want to celebrate one's faith, not mourn it and wear it around your neck like a ball and chain.  As I write this, I hear Kool and the Gang's song, "Celebrate"  because I want to celebrate my faith in Jesus.  Don't you?

My apologies, I got my bands confused.

 

My brother-in-law asked me this question the other day.  He and my sister, being devout Catholics wanted to know.  I know many "former" Catholics and we all feel the same.  Like we have to take a 12 step program to de-program ourselves from what we were taught or I should say, not taught through the course of our religious journey.

Now before you all go up in arms about me dissing the Catholic religion, just hear me out, then you can go all up in arms about this.

I have a friend who was a devout Catholic.  Went to church almost every morning, always on the weekend and she was so mean spirited.  There was nothing that came out of her mouth that was possitive.  She had a good heart, however, a mean spirit.  Not long ago, I spoke to her to see how she was doing.  There was such a peace about her.  The good heart was showing and the mean spirit was gone.  I asked her what was going on and she had mentioned she started going to a Christian church.  She learned what it meant to have a personal relationship with God and that Jesus was our Saviour.  She finally got it.  She went to Bible Study classes that helped her understand what God was telling her through His word.  I asked her, "Don't you feel such a peacefulness now?"  She said, "Yes!"  I was so happy for her I just wanted to cry and praise God for the work He had done in her.  It is so wonderful to know God is still on the move in the negative world.

I wish I had gone to a Christian school for 6 years instead of a Catholic one.  How great it would be to learn about God and how Jesus saved us from sin and understand how to have a personal relationship with God.  I no longer have that feeling that something is missing in my life.  I no longer feel a sadness.  I no longer feel like this is it?  I still have times where satan tries to bring me down to his pitt, but I know I can call God and ask for His strength and light and I feel Him.  What an awesome feeling to feel Him in your heart and your thoughts. 

A six week series our pastor started this week in church is titled "Positive Impressions: Soul Care in a Negative World".  It is well worth listening to.  You can go to www.cvcwired.com and click on weekend and you should be able to listen to the teaching as well as get a copy of the teaching notes.  This week our pastor talked about being "perfectly plastic".  Wow, how many of us were and/or are now perfectly plastic in our spiritual lives.  We dressed, talked, acted the way we thought others expected, however, on the inside really didn't know if God was there.  Great teaching over the next 6 weeks.  If you get a chance, check it out.

As for me being a recoverying Catholic, well, all I can say is that I have learned more about how great my Father is over this past year, than I have in all the years of Catholic school and church.  So much that I feel sorrow that I walked away from God because I thought it was He who made up the manmade laws of that religion.  I am so thankfull that He found a way to pursue me and hit me over the head to hear Him. 

I've joined a summer book club at church.  The book we are reading is "Blue like Jazz" by Donald Miller.  I was reading Chapters 5-10.  It was like God was hitting me over the head with a sledgehammer.  I have to admit, he does have to do that now and again because sometimes my pride makes it hard to hear Him.

Why is it we feel we are above the charity of God?  Above God's grace?  That dang pride just gets in the way.  I do feel like the author, when asked if I have any prayer requests in my small groups, I feel like my problems are so much smaller than the others and I don't want to bother Him or anyone else.  But who is to say anyone's problem or situation is more deserving of His Grace and attention?

I am so ashamed to say that I realize I am too prideful to accept His grace.  What a slap in the face!  What a wake up call.  I have some major face-in-the-dirt humbling to do.  How about you?

I was listening to Greg Laurie on my way to work.  He was talking about what God is calling us to do.  What are our gifts?  Do we have the courage to try and fail, as a process of elimination to finding our gifts?  He said he would rather try and fail than to regret not trying at all.  How many of us don't even try at all because we are afraid to fail?  I know I could raise my hand!  I'm 48 and I have many things I regret for not trying.  How about you?  What do you regret not trying?  What if ...?  One of the things going on in our church is Giving Hope ... changing What if to What is!  I just need to ask for His courage to do what I am afraid to fail at. 

We decided to see a movie at 4pm today.  The house was getting hot and the thought of a dark room with air conditioning sounded really good.  So we went to the Priates movie.  (More)

This morning I was speaking with my son over the phone and wished him a Happy 4th of July.  He corrected me and said, "Mom, it's Independence Day!  Why doesn't anyone say that anymore?"  This is coming from my son who has served as a Marine for 4+ years.  I told him it was probably because most of us can't spell Independence ...and if I misspelled it just now, I've made my point.  If my daughters are reading this, I have not forgotten you and you will be hearing from me shortly. (More)

What happened to the first half of this year? (More)

Hi, I'm Deb and a recovering Catholic who gave up on religion, but was searching for something. I also thought I had given up on God, only to realize I hadn't and that He had not given up on me! What Good News that is! I live in Northern Nevada, married, have 3 married children (2 daughters and 1 son) and 5 grandchildren. Nope, they all live in different areas, which makes seeing them difficult. Thank you God for pictures!

I work on the North Shore of Lake Tahoe and am thankful for the drive I make everyday.

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