Life Recovery

I have been missing out on alot of church things lately.  I'm not sure if it's our health issues or just a lack of desire.  I've stepped out of all my ministries and we rarely go to church anymore.  It isn't that we stopped believing, it's just been hard to go. 

It's winter again, weather is cold, and what seems to be our annual winter illnesses have returned.  Every month, we are back on antibiotics because of another ...itis we have.  I can only make it to work and home.  That's about all the energy I can expend for the day.  The weekends are my days to rest as much as I can and do nothing.  We stay home away from people so we don't catch anything else.

Thursday is a start of a new class at church.  We've signed up for it and with it being an 8 week course, we really need to be there at all classes.  It's amazing the chains that bind.  With each day we aren't involved in anything at church and each weekend we miss service, another link is added to that chain, binding us from going.  I'm hoping this class, will start breaking the links so we can start breathing again.

Just wanted to let you know that I am still around.  However, I do most of my blogging here:  http://dobegil.wordpress.com  I talk about all kinds of things going on in my life.  

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I often wonder if I'm having a crisis in faith.  Then again, I know I have faith.  I'm involved with an outreach ministry at our church.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the redheaded bastard stepchild.  I do what I do, because I believe strongly in what I do.  I haven't been able to do what I do, because of illness and surgery.  Now that I am better, I don't feel like doing anything. 

I am having a hard time remembering that all that I do is for God's Glory and NOT for mine.  It is such a struggle for me.  Maybe this is a lesson I'm learning and have to release to Him for guidance. 

I'm pretty frustrated and about to give up.  Then I remember that's the evil one putting these thoughts in my head.  Nothing would make the evil one happier than for me to give up.  But I won't give him the satisfaction.  The one I follow and call Father gives me strength against the evil one.  I just need to draw Him closer.  He hasn't left my side, I have slipped off His path.  Lord God, give me Your strength and courage to win this battle of frustration and remove my resentment, greed, selfishness, envy & frustration.

I have a friend in Christ that is going through a severe painful experience right now.  I do not know the circumstances, nor do I need to know, however, I do know that she and her family will be in my prayers for His guidance for what they are going through. 

She is so strong in her faith and beliefs that she is clinging to His truth and love to get her through.  As Mercy Me states in their song ... "Bring on the rain if that's what it takes to bring You glory."   

I had to share this because she is such a role model for me with her strong faith and belief.   I pray I am as strong in my faith as she is.

Great video - enjoy

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=489fac0e2d192212d206

I saw this video on another blog.  How wonderful to know He is always there even though we walk off His path.  Lifehouse did a great job of showing us this.  Check out the video:   http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5 

I've been feeling a bit blue these past couple of days.  I have not wanted to do anything and with work going crazy, I feel I'm too tired to do anything.  I couldn't figure out why I was falling further and further into the pit.  Well today, I stopped by my church to make sure I had enough envelopes for my Share Menus.  The Seniors were getting ready for their potluck gathering.  Just seeing the few people in the lobby and talking with them, boosted my spirits.  Made me wish I had signed up to join them. 

We weren't made to go through our spiritual journey alone.  He wants us to be with others and share His love, words, wisdom.  I realized I had missed this fellowship all week.  I didn't go to church last weekend which started me down the road of avoidance all week.  i realize now, in order to stay out of satan's pit, I need to stay in fellowship and keep Him as my focus to arm myself against the worldly ways of satan.  This world isn't home, it's just a journey.  Home is in Heaven with our Father.   I can only imagine what it will be like to be face to face with Him.  

The series we are going through at our church is Positive Soul Care in a Negative World.  This week is Part VI and it was about Hope - Expectant, Future and Intercessory.  I enjoy are Pastor's teachings, since he speaks from his heart and he includes himself when he's talking about our downfalls.

Yesterday, he said something that I had to write down.  It was one of those comments that smacks you right in the face.  He said, "Did you know, your name is spoken in the halls of Heaven."   Yes, I had heard this a long time ago, but, I never understood it until now.

He was talking about how the Holy Spirit talks to Jesus and God about us and the Intercessory Hope is when we are so in need in the middle of a trial that we don't have the words to pray.  So the Holy Spirit takes it to God.  That in itself is so encouraging.  How many of us have been in such a turmoil with so many directions we could go or think or do and not know what to do.  Your thoughts are so muddled that you cannot focus.  To know there is a power, that lives in us, so much greater than anything else in this world that will speak for me and my thoughts.  What a relief. 

So, to think that my name is being spoke in Heaven and I'm not even there yet, is something I find very comforting.  If there is anything that would keep my focus on Him, it would have to be that.  I would want my name spoken in Heaven as a positive thing and not a negative one.

I know Jesus defends me hourly when satan tries to condemn me.  However, until I heard those words yesterday, ... well, let's just say it was another one of those slap me in the face realizations that had to be made.

I know the path home to God is not an easy one.  I also know that He could have many difficult days in store for me, however, it's those difficult days that I want to draw closer to Him for guidance, love, understanding and comfort. 

What would it be like to be in Heaven with our Father, our Groom and the Holy Spirit?  I don't know, however, I know there are no words to describe the glorious joy, peace and love.  To be among the Heavenly Choir and meeting the people in the bible.  To be instantly changed in a blink of an eye, when our Savior comes back to take us home.  I hope I'll see you all, including my family, there.  What a day that will be.

The change at our church appears to be going smoothly.  The pastor now in charge of the Ministry I am involved with is very supportive and a pretty good guy and I feel comfortable that he will lead the ministry with God as his focus.

What more could you ask for?

Hi, I'm Deb and a recovering Catholic who gave up on religion, but was searching for something. I also thought I had given up on God, only to realize I hadn't and that He had not given up on me! What Good News that is! I live in Northern Nevada, married, have 3 married children (2 daughters and 1 son) and 5 grandchildren. Nope, they all live in different areas, which makes seeing them difficult. Thank you God for pictures!

I work on the North Shore of Lake Tahoe and am thankful for the drive I make everyday.

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